Your Thoughts…

We have been talking a lot about getting away from toxic people, namely significant others. I’m sure if you are in a situation or have been, you have so many racing thoughts.

I can say from my personal experience, my thoughts ranged from trying to make it work, staying positive, figuring out when or how I was going to leave, being there for my kids and a host of other everyday things. I could list it all, but there isn’t enough space or time. I once read that a women’s mind is like a computer with all the tabs open, or something like that. I’m sure you get it. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to just shut it off. We can’t just wash that person and the issues out of our hair like Lizzo says in her song, which I love, but it’s definitely not that easy.

There comes a time where you have to sit down and manage your thoughts so they don’t have you somewhere you never thought you would be. A lot of times, we are so conditioned to work through stuff because we have been told to bounce back and we are resilient. We focus so much on being strong and independent that we forget we are human. We are allowed to feel, and not to ignore or push our feelings away. You have to deal with your thoughts by first acknowledging them then doing something about it if it is possible.

There are different ways to do this and I believe they all work. I have used a combination of these to get where I am now. Am I done and healed? No, I’m still progressing, moving forward but I’m not where I used to be.

Journaling is helpful. Doing it daily is what makes a difference. Write down what hurts, what bothers you, what keeps you breathing, what makes you happy. Create a balance so you can see that happiness still exist in you and that you can conquer your difficulties with a plan. You can also read some self help books. There are so many available, choose what speaks to you. In addition to that, you can watch YouTube videos that will help you as well. I personally watched a lot of Derrick Jaxn videos to help me see that I was on the right path. I needed to hear from a man that what I was dealing with was not what I needed or deserved. Last but certainly not least is getting therapy. Yes, I said it and it’s ok. I realized that I needed therapy when I began having anxiety attacks and they became more and more frequent. It was my thoughts that I had not dealt with. I surpressed them so I could be strong for my kids. So I never really dealt with the haunting thoughts and feelings. I was the bag lady for real carrying all my issues like Erykah Badu said. I eventually broke down and went to therapy. A dear friend of mine shared someone she spoke very highly of to help me process and that she did. When my therapist met me, I was afraid to walk outside because of thoughts that I would have an anxiety attack. The very first day she put things in place for me to get myself together. She cared about my well being and saw to it that I made progress. It wasn’t about a check for her. She listened to me and gave me the tools I needed to move forward. She even got me on medication to help with my anxiety so I could deal with my thoughts. I never wanted to be on medication, but it helped me. I had to do the work to get back to me.

Now please understand that this does not mean that I never had bad days where my thoughts had me down. It happens. You are going to have a bad day here and there. The key and goal is to not stay there. Do something to that makes you feel good to help brighten your day. I love music and watching funny videos. Sometimes it helps, and sometimes, not so much. However, I have taught myself when I get up, it’s a new day and, I can make it. Don’t wallow, get up and love on yourself.

Take the time to deal with your thoughts and emotions by any means necessary. You deserve to live, love and thrive, not just survive out here. Take your power back for you. You need it before anyone else. Control those thoughts so they don’t control you. Think on things that are above. For those who believe in God, you know exactly what I mean by that. Prayer helps considerably. Having a support system with the same beliefs, helps.

Let me know in the comments how you are doing. How are you processing? What do you think of this site? Do you find it helpful? Do you have any other ideas that would help someone else? I would love to hear from you! You may even comment anonymously if you would like. This is a no judgement zone. I’m looking forward to sharing good vibes and conversations with you! Ttys – Lotus❤