Lessons

So, here we are, a whole month in to 2021! I waited a bit to post just because, I wanted to walk around a bit in the quiet of the new year.

We have a lot or a few expectations when a new year arrives. We, at times like this, will put quite a few demands on ourselves. This year, I decided to sharpen my focus.

I was on Tic Toc the other day when a post from @iamtabithanrown, that got my full attention. If you don’t know anything about Tabitha Brown, just know, she is that auntie that you can run to when you just need to talk and she will speak to you out of wisdom, and not frustration.

So, in her post she said, “Stop trying to fix something / someone you didn’t break.” This made me look back at my marriage and how I tried so hard to fix him. All he did was feed of my desire to help and determination to make him better. Truth of the matter is that he was broken when he targeted me. Since I am an empath, I always felt the need to fix him when something was wrong.

When something or someone is broken, but still kinda works, it operates out of dysfunction. In some instances, you have to analyze if this is your battle to fight. In most scenarios, it isn’t. That’s what we fight with. If the person or thing is bleeding you dry while you are putting forth so much effort to fix or help, it isn’t worth it. You don’t need to sacrifice your well being in order to help.

If helping takes away your peace, joy or any that you need to survive and thrive, it cost too much. We can’t be willing to sacrifice our own sanity to save someone or something that was broken when we found it or it found us.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s one thing, to help someone and they are receptive and they carry on and do better. However it’s something else to put your all into someone to help them and all you are doing is draining yourself and feeding their desire to bleed you dry.

Looking back, I now walk circumspectly and choose carefully who and what I give my time and energy to. I have to preserve what is precious to me, that is caring for my wellbeing. Choose well and walk carefully this year. Notice, who and what is broken and if it is in your power to fix it. If it isn’t, keep moving on.