Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself

I must be honest, I didn’t take a vacation or anything, I just lost the will to write. Not that I didn’t want to, I just didn’t have the drive for it.

We have been in this pandemic for a long period of time….over a year to be exact. During this time I have realized that I had a hard time trying to help others when I was struggling myself.

I was struggling with my kids being homeschooled through the computer, working from home, and just being at home. Sometimes the walks didn’t help. Or finding something that I was interested in, didn’t help either. Sometimes it’s not that easy to just pick yourself up. I had to look at where I was and allow myself to feel and recognize what I was feeling.

I was frustrated that my kids were not as focused as they should be on learning. I was frustrated they seemed to be behind. I was frustrated that I had to be everything at home. I wasn’t sure how to help my children navigate this time in our lives. This dragged me down on a daily basis. I wanted to be angry that they weren’t putting their all into school and that the house was constantly a mess and my whole day was nonstop.

I know, I told you all I was meditating and walking and I am officially over that for the moment. I had to take the time to feel the pressure. Not only that, but let my children feel too.

I came to realize that it’s ok for the house not to be clean everyday, that we all learn and are navigating this pandemic differently. I’m not the perfect parent. I don’t always make balanced meals. Sometimes I forget to do homework with my children because I just need to breathe, and so do they.

I said all this to say, I’m still learning. I can’t always walk off the pain and get to a happy place. Sometimes, I need to feel it and acknowledge it. Don’t be so hard on yourself, I bring that to mind often. I hope you are telling yourself the same thing. Remember, self care isn’t just about bubbles and wine, its definitely acknowledging what you are feeling and being ok with it.